Kaos

And lo and behold
From up on high
Where the topless towers of Illium
Touch the sky

Where blood was spilled
And tears were shed
Where lie buried
The uncounted dead

Nothing will this change
As Ages come and go
And the most important lesson
It seems, will be learned ne'er more

For from these blood-soaked beaches
To Olympos' hallowed halls
Man and God may strive to fight
But in the end rules Kaos

Philosophy

Mr. McGrumpus: wen u off ch*t?

The Dragon: maybe an hour or so
maybe half an hour
who knows?
when a man's time is up
go he must
ashes to ashes, dust to dust



Underneath this tough, fierce facade beats the heart of a philosopher.

Patience

This is a beautiful song. Love it. Means so much to me right now.


Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience(inhale)
Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah
Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it,
Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah,
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... (ence, yeah)
I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right
(Need some patience, yeah)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd
(Could use some patience, yeah)And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you
(Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you
(Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you
(Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me....

-"Patience"- Guns N' Roses

Hmmm

Hope lives. Yet again.

Shall I tell you what you can do with your Horoscope?????

Had a really frustrating day today. Thought I'd get some stuff done at work...but just could not be asked. It is important...my deadline's approaching...and I just can't be bothered. It does nothing for me, this work. Not learning much from it at all.

And then I log into Orkut and see this:

Today's fortune:You are going to have some new clothes

Oh good.

Okay. It's not like I log into Orkut everyday to find out what the day holds for me ( I haven't sunk to that level of sadness...yet!). But still....

This might be the proverbial Straw* that broke the Camel's* back. Or, in this case, the Dragon's*. You know what I mean. Whatever.

Sigh. Think I'll go sleep it off. Like I didn't do enough of that today!

* In case you're wondering- Yes, yes, the caps are intentional.
Oh, and in case you're wondering- go get a life! Or shoot yourself. Either or.

To burp or not to burp?

The best kind of burp is a beer-burp. Fucking phenomenal. In the words of Amit Verma, immense satisfaction comes.

Had a conversation with someone I was once very close to. Amazing how things change.

After that, had a great time today....went to Speed and had a good time for a change- it wasn't packed like it usually is. Plus they played rock. Better than all that house shite. Hung out with some good friends of mine from work- had a lot of intense conversations, plus made asses of ourselves. Not me this time. Pleasant change, it was.

Some thoughts running through me head...but not coalesced into coherent form yet. Will share them when that happens.

Till then....fight the good fight!

Clinton kicks ass!! or should that be fox??

Sorry, couldn't resist that title. Was too good to pass up.

Bill Clinton kicks ass on Fox News- watch the video here.

Came across this link on India Uncut. Amit Varma sums it up quite well, I think. Check out both the video and Amit's take on it.

Who is Amit Varma, you ask? Only one of India's top bloggers. Silly children.

Graffiti, blimp, seersucker

You have GOT to check out this blog. Brilliant writing. I loved it.

And some of it is for a worthy cause. Even better.

Of the Yawna-sutra and other amusing things

Has anyone else noticed how a good yawn can almost be a blindingly orgasmic experience?

First there's the buildup...you know you're gonna yawn...then it begins.....starts off slow.....you might even make a primitive, almost bestial sound if it's a really good one....it increases in intensity till you feel your eyes water and all ur nerves seem like they're stretched taut...and then...blessed release. You feel utterly relaxed.

Contentment.

Bliss.

Sleepy.

Maybe I should write a book. Different positions one could yawn in. Ways to ensure maximum pleasure from a yawn. Remember, it is equally important that your partner is pleasured as well.

What do you think? Hmm?

Maybe I just need to get me some. Or get a hobby.

Oh, and for those of you who haven't come across it before, here's what Osho has to say on a popular word in the English language (thanks to intentBlog). Compare that to what you will find on this page.

Which came first? The Osho or the Monty Python?

O Brother, where art thou?

Just spoke to my younger brother- as opposed to the youngest brother- he's away on his first paid-for-entirely-by-self vacation in Colorado. Damn proud of him, I must say. He's been working hard the past few months in New York and sounded extremely relaxed when I spoke to him. Am glad. Of course, it could be the influence of alcohol, but he claims that that's not the case. Hmm. May be. God knows I do enough drinking for the whole family.

We fight like hell when we're together, but I miss him quite a bit. Like I said, bloody proud of what he's done and doing. No one deserves happiness more.

Feel free to check out his blog here.

And the youngest fella's blog here.

My brothers rock!

Hardly surprising, considering I'm their role model.

Two Ships Passing in the Night

Things that break my heart:

1. A beautiful woman looking inexplicably, heartbreakingly sad. My friends tell me that says a lot about me, but they refuse to elaborate. Hmmmm.

2. When you share a really special connection with someone...you meet them one night, when you're not expecting to meet anyone special at all....you share your lives, and you part ways knowing that you probably will never see her again. Like two ships passing in the night. You share similar journeys, voyages, have learnt and know you will learn the same things, but know you are destined never to meet again.

Not another depressing post, I assure you. Wasn't meant to be at least. Just sharing the kind of insight that comes after 12 rum n cokes.

The Dragon (pensive and not just dark, for once- depending on your state of mind,I suppose- and whether you've had rum or vodka to drink)

In A Little While

In a little while
Surely you'll be mine
In a little while
I'll be there

In a little while
This hurt will hurt no more
I'll be home, love

When the night takes a deep breath
And the daylight has no end
If I crawl, if I come crawling home
Will you be there

In a little while
I won't be blown by every breeze
Friday night running
To Sunday on my knees

That girl, that girl
She's mine
And I've know her since

Since she was a little girl
With Spanish eyes
Oh, when I saw her
In a pram they pushed her by

My, how you've grown
Well it's been
It's been a little while

Slow down my bleeding heart
A man dreams one day to fly
A man takes a rocketship into the skies
He lives on a star that's dying in the night
And follows in the trail
The scatter of light

Turn it on
Turn it on
You turn me on

Slow down my bleeding heart
Slowly, slowly love
Slow down my bleeding heart
Slowly, slowly love
Slow down my beating heart
Slowly, slowly love

- "In A Little While" by U2


Beautiful song, isn't it? Never told you this, but used to listen to this quite often when I used to come pick you up.

Thought I was confused for a bit...again! But I've come to the conclusion that I'm not.

Maybe nostalgic, not confused. And if, after all this time, I'm still nostalgic, I guess I'm just a creature of habit. I know it wouldn't have worked out anyway between us- you were the wiser one after all- but I can't help remembering. And I am truly sorry for that. Because that means I will have to put up my walls and delineate fallback positions whenever I meet you. A pity, when I have never been as honest with someone as I was with you.

Thank you for giving me that space, allowing me that freedom, for demanding that truth and integrity from me. You have taught me so much. I shall never forget.

It was good to see you smile, to give you a couple of hugs again.

They'll never be the same again, though, will they?

It was good to see you again.

All my love always,

A

A Stroke of Genius

Me: my love
my turtledove

how long must i wait?
to hear that cooing sound u make
or the little flutter of ur arms as u flap them around?
ah, my turtledove
I miss thee truly

She: missed me terribly?

Me: Ah u ask that question as if u did not know the answer my love
I pine for u every single moment we're apart
can u not see it in my eyes?
can u not hear it in my voice?
can u not feel it in the way i shake my bum when ur around?

Sometimes I crack myself up.

A Cold and Rainy Night

A light rain falling
The cool night air caresses me
The night is still
A portentous silence
Reminding me of what was, is and what will be
What was lost, remains lost, and what I have yet to lose
Love
What was mine, remains mine and what will once more be mine
The memory of love
Like a recurring dream
A companion I have grown fond of
And refuse to give up

Is it just the memory I miss
Or is it you?
Our togetherness
What was once so real
A living breathing thing
Is now a distant memory
Like images captured in my mind's eye
Like footprints on a beach
Or words written
Washed away by wilful,playful waves
On a wild, windswept shore

Do you think of me at all?
On days like this
I miss you the most
Wherever you are
I hope you are well

Be happy
And know you are cherished and missed
By someone far away

Heaven and Hell

To pull you close
Hold you and kiss you
Every time like it’s our last kiss
Passion and longing
Unspoken communication

Our breath intermingling
The taste, the smell of your lips
Ambrosia
The way you feel beneath my fingers
So soft, so warm
Summer silk
The smell of your skin
Jasmine after the rain
To touch you
Both without and within

To hold you
Make love to you
Sweat, sweet pain and longing
Striving toward a moment
Of perfect understanding

That connection so basic
So perfect, so intense
Where words drift away
Morning mist burned by the sun
Everything else pales into nothingness
Like the faintest memory of a dream

Nothing else exists
Only the ragged sound
Of our breathing
The movement of our bodies
Striving toward fulfillment
Till we taste pleasure
So sweet it feels like pain

Is this heaven? Or is this hell?
I have never felt so alive
A thousand little deaths
A thousand hells
Pave the road to Nirvana, to bliss

And the next morning
Waking up next to you
Running my fingers through your hair
Feeling you stir beneath my touch
That first kiss

And then
Heaven and hell all over again.

Remembrance

A day of remembrance
For battles fought
Of defeats earned
And victory sought

Of tears and blood
Of passions spent
Sweat and toil
Reasons to repent

Of looming despair
Of crushing loss
Of life and love
All else is dross

Of hope renewed
Of deep breaths drawn
Even after the darkest night
Must come the dawn

Family

The love of a family can be complicated. Aye, it can be terrible in some ways...but in other ways, it can be the simplest kind of love there is. Simple because, no matter what, it's always there. Friends can be chosen, but families are stuck with each other. The only way to go is to make the best of it and learn to understand and be with each other. Easier said than done? Sure. But remember: love and like are two different things-- you might love your family, but you might not always like them. The beauty about this is- you don't have to!

Families are not about liking each other or even being nice to each other all the time--the love of a family can be expressed in many ways- sticking up for a brother/sister if they're getting bullied, helping him/her with some schoolwork, trying to teach him/her to learn through your mistakes-- the last is possibly the most irritating (for the person being taught) and possibly the most futile, hopeless task (for the person attempting the teaching). The important thing is to see beyond the surface talk or actions and understand the deeper motives that drive the talk or actions: only then can a family's love be understood. And like most things people (including me) complain about in this world, it can be bloody annoying at times, but when it's not there...it's even worse.

Gràdh Geal Mo Chridh' (Fair Love Of My Heart)

Lochaber, Fort William, Ben Nevis & the Caledonian Canal. Lands where Clan MacDonald roamed.
(Courtesy of Scottish Panoramic )


High in the misty highlands
Out by the purple islands
Brave are the hearts that beat
Beneath Scottish skies
Wild are the winds to meet you
Staunch are the friends that greet you
Kind as the light that shines
From fair maiden's eyes.

Towering in gallant fame
Scotland my mountain hame
High may your proud standards
Gloriously wave!
Land of my high endeavor
Land of the shining river
Land of my heart forever
Scotland the brave!

-"Scotland the Brave", unofficial anthem

My beloved Scotland...Mo chroí ná do chroí, go deo na ndeoir- My heart is your heart, ever and always.

Hmmmmm.......

We perceive when love begins and when it declines by our embarrassment when alone together- Jean de la Bruyere

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost- Gilbert K. Chesterton

Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old- John Ciardi


Cynical? Yep.

But probably true.

Thought for the day

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future- George Bernard Shaw

Out of Time

You're out of touch

I'm out of time

But I'm out of my head when you're not around

- "Out of Touch" by Hall and Oates

The revolution maybe someone somewhere else

It’s in the way you’re always hiding from the light

See for yourself you have been sitting on a time bomb

No revolution maybe someone somewhere else

Could show you something new about you and your inner song

And all the love and all the love in the world

Won’t stop the rain from falling.


-"Break It Down Again", Tears for Fears

‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

It started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

- "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Dragon has left the building.

Another one bites the dust.

Now I get the whole "cosmos-is-out-to-screw-me-over" joke.

I wish things would have worked out...just this once....I thought there was something special here. Or at the very least something more to be explored.

Ah well.

What's that old saying? If wishes were wings, pigs would fly?

This Dragon is now officially in crash-and-burn mode.

And will be for a while.

42

This is why I love Douglas Adams and the Hitchikers' Guide to the Galaxy:

Oh frettled gruntbuggly thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglechruncheon, see if I don't!


Pure genius.

Always, always, always the sea

Oh the heavy water how it enfolds
The salt, the spray, the gorgeous undertow
Always, always, always the sea
Brilliantine mortality


For those poor souls among you who have not yet heard the song "Carrion" by British Sea Power, I suggest you listen to it below. Awesome song, beautiful lyrics. The lines above are the chorus. Beautiful.

Takes me back to the days when I roamed the seas in search of life, love and adventure.

Yeah.





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Bad to the Bone!!

Me and Thomas Chillin' at Britto's, Baga Beach, Goa
...and no, I do not drink beer with a straw...that is (believe it or not) apple juice!

Hai Ve Mere , Daadia Rabba

Was listening to a song today from the movie "Swadesh" called "Yeh jo des hai tera". Awesome. I remember watching the movie sometime during those last few months in Edinburgh with my flatmates. At that time, I had been away from home for more than 2 years. 2 years without touching Indian soil, without seeing my parents, getting hugs from Mom and lectures from Dad, without fighting with my brothers. That's a long time.

I had always thought of myself as someone who didn't really need all of that, who was just happy being on my own, doing my own thing. Towards the end of those 2 years, though, I found myself becoming positively soppy and sentimental whenever I thought about my family and friends back home. I guess it was a lot of things. I wasn't having any luck getting a job, I was working crazy hours in a call centre to try and earn some extra cash, things weren't too good on the personal front for the last few months as well. I guess it was all coming to a head, but I just could not do it anymore. I had no energy left...I was drained. Of energy, of emotion, of motivation. Maybe if I had come home in the middle for a short vacation, I could have stuck around for a little while longer and tried to get a job, but....well, I just could not fight the battle anymore. I needed to come home.

So I made the necessary preparations, got things sorted with the uni, bank, landlord, etc. When I booked my (one-way) ticket home, then it hit me. I was going home. Was I scared? Definitely. Felt like a bit of a failure cos most of my friends got jobs when they went abroad. Besides, I love Edinburgh. That city and it's people will always hold a special place in my heart. But I missed Madras like crazy. I was watching quite a few Hindi movies ( and a few Tamil movies, too) and found myself getting all misty-eyed (only figuratively, of course- the Dragon does not show emotion-like a rock, He is). I imagined what it would be like on the flight home. How I would feel when I first saw my homeland again. Whether I would (figuratively speaking again) shed a tear or two. There were two songs I used to listen to which would take me right there, sitting in the plane, looking out the window, catching my first glimpse of my homeland in more than two years. One of them was "Punjab" by Karunesh, and the other was "Yeh jo des hai tera" from Swadesh.

Of course, when I did actually fly in and catch that first glimpse of India, there wasn't much music happening. There were the usual sounds- babies crying, old men belching loudly, my friend Sandeep sitting next to me and looking unhappy- understandable because he was sitting between two people, each of whom were, at a conservative estimate, three times his size. My first glimpse of India on that flight, by the way, was Dharavi, the world's second largest slum. I never imagined I would be so happy to see a place whose name is synonymous with poverty, squalor, and everything that's wrong with India.

But hell, it was India, wasn't it?

At long last, I was home.

Random thought

Had to do what I did.
Things seem okay. Hopefully they will be.
This is important to me.
On many different levels.
Ah well, time will tell.

Pip-pip!!

Be With You

Where do we go from here?
I’m not entirely sure
Do I know what I want?
I think so.
Do you?

Waves crashing on a distant shore
A seagull’s lonely cry
A crab scuttles across the sand
It leaves no marks

What would they tell us if they could talk?
What would we hear if we could listen?
What secrets of the ages lie
Just beyond the grasp of our understanding?

Do we even want to know?

Seaweed lies washed up on the shore
Remnants of a distant life
Beneath the waves
In an alien realm.

The wind blows fresh and salty,
Intoxicated with its own power.
It brushes against your skin, plays with your hair.
The sun is a mischievous one,
Playing peek-a-boo with the clouds.
Now you see it,
Now you don’t.

It is on days like this that I can feel a greater power
Not of religion
Something bigger than that,
And not so base
As to be born of Man’s craven need for absolution.
Something cosmic.

It is on days like this
That all I want is to be with you.
No thinking, no talking.
Quell the many voices inside my head
Babbling, asking, doubting,
Pulling me in different directions.

On days like this

All I want is to be.

Just to be.

With you.